- Me: *playing Tomb Raider*
- Grandmother who is visiting for the weekend: Mind if I sit with you?
- Me: *squirming slightly because there is gore and swearing in this game and my grandmother is a sweet old lady: Um, if you want to.
- Grandmother: *sits* Thank you, dear.
- Me: *continuing to play for about five minutes*
- Grandmother: LOOK OUT THERE ARE THREE COMING DOWN THE HILL
- Grandmother: THAT WAS POINT BLANK HOW ARE THEY ALIVE
- Grandmother: OOOHH YOU MADE THAT EXPLODE
- Grandmother: STOP KILLING MY GRANDDAUGHTER
- Grandmother: KILL THEM KILL THEM ALL
- Grandmother: OHHHHH YOU SHOT HIM IN THE HEAD OHHHHHHHHH
- Grandmother: RUN RUN RUN YOU'RE ABOUT TO DIE RUN
- Grandmother: OKAY NOW KILL THEM ALL
- Me: *slowly turns to look at her* Grandma
- Grandmother: *sweet smile* Hmm?
- Me: Grandma oh my god
- Grandmother: *more smiling* Well, hurry up and kill everyone else, I want to see you save this Sam person.
- Grandmother: Kill them.
Do you think the universe fights for souls to be together?
Some things are too strange and strong to be coincidences.
Emery Allen (via lilianacampos)
SOMEBODY DRAW FEM!SHERLOCK IN THIS
- Woman: *on cellphone* Why am I leaving you? Why am I--I'll tell you why.
- Woman: Here's why. You don't respect me.
- Woman: You called me a whore in front of my children.
- Me: *says nothing, but has a face like O.O*
- Woman: You don't respect me. And you know, there some white chick here in the store, she walking, she heard me say that and she make a face.
- Woman: Because even she know you a piece of shit.
I need feminism; because the bra straps of a twelve year old shouldn’t make a 40 year old married principal with two daughters “uncomfortable”
So am I allowed to walk around adult women who are mothers and grandmothers at work with my cock out or what
in what world is someone’s dick equivalent to a fucking bra strap
WHY DOES THIS MAKE ME SO HAPPY EVERYTIME I SEE IT