• Me: *playing Tomb Raider*
  • Grandmother who is visiting for the weekend: Mind if I sit with you?
  • Me: *squirming slightly because there is gore and swearing in this game and my grandmother is a sweet old lady: Um, if you want to.
  • Grandmother: *sits* Thank you, dear.
  • Me: *continuing to play for about five minutes*
  • Grandmother:
  • Grandmother:
  • Grandmother: LOOK OUT THERE ARE THREE COMING DOWN THE HILL
  • Grandmother: THAT WAS POINT BLANK HOW ARE THEY ALIVE
  • Grandmother: OOOHH YOU MADE THAT EXPLODE
  • Grandmother: STOP KILLING MY GRANDDAUGHTER
  • Grandmother: KILL THEM KILL THEM ALL
  • Grandmother: OHHHHH YOU SHOT HIM IN THE HEAD OHHHHHHHHH
  • Grandmother: RUN RUN RUN YOU'RE ABOUT TO DIE RUN
  • Grandmother: OKAY NOW KILL THEM ALL
  • Me: *slowly turns to look at her* Grandma
  • Grandmother: *sweet smile* Hmm?
  • Me: Grandma oh my god
  • Grandmother: *more smiling* Well, hurry up and kill everyone else, I want to see you save this Sam person.
  • Me:
  • Me:
  • Grandmother: Kill them.

At the grocery store

  • Woman: *on cellphone* Why am I leaving you? Why am I--I'll tell you why.
  • Woman: Here's why. You don't respect me.
  • Woman: You called me a whore in front of my children.
  • Me: *says nothing, but has a face like O.O*
  • Woman: You don't respect me. And you know, there some white chick here in the store, she walking, she heard me say that and she make a face.
  • Woman: Because even she know you a piece of shit.

princessoffloral:

collectiveassbutts:

earthswinds:

I need feminism; because the bra straps of a twelve year old shouldn’t make a 40 year old married principal with two daughters “uncomfortable”

So am I allowed to walk around adult women who are mothers and grandmothers at work with my cock out or what

in what world is someone’s dick equivalent to a fucking bra strap